i realize something about myself.
i have this really, really big tendancy to do things in a very half-assed manner. i'm horrible at being decisive-simply cannot do it. but i think if i want to be happy.. really happy.. i need to start making some decisions once and for all. making half-assed decisions only makes me second guess things all of the time.

...

i do a lot of that-second guessing.

i don't know what i should do with myself and i have a decision to make. there's no way i can be guaranteed happiness but then, i have this feeling that if i don't at least try for it, i'll always wonder what would've happened. and you know it's those "what if's" that always kill me.