stoopid deanza

so i got an acceptance letter from csuh's nursing department. thing is, with me not getting the microbio class that i needed to take before june 30 i won't be getting into the program. so with that, my plans for going to csuh are cut short and it's prolly not an option for me anymore...

...

kinda disappointed about csuh (and stoopid deanza!) but i guess that just means i need to examine my other options and right now sjsu and ucsf are looking particularly attractive. sjsu has an accelerated undergrad nursing program and ucsf.. what can i say.. i know it's stupid and petty, but i'm attracted to name-brand degrees and a masters in nursing from ucsf would be pretty impressive. i know, stupid, stupid me.. it shouldn't (and doesn't) matter! ><

i'm wavering about getting the masters though. first of all there's the time commitment - three years versus a year and half.. i know it's only a year and a half difference, but for some reason it makes a huge difference to me. second of all there's the cost - ucsf's first year would KILL my bank account. (30k just for the first year!) third (and prolly most importantly) is that i'm just not sure if i can handle the responsibility of being a nurse practitioner. it's just so much power and providing healthcare is scary - because a simple mistake could potentially KILL someone. i'm not sure if i'm ready for that.

*sigh* but that's just me talking out loud. jeez, i haven't even gotten into the program and i'm already so gloomy about it. just like me to think too much.