i mailed in the voluteer application for the hospital today.
so i guess i'll just hafta see how it goes. i'm also researching b.a. to masters in nursing programs right now. there's several universities in san francisco which look pretty attractive right now.

it's hard. because i'm not really sure if making a 180 degree turn is gonna make me any happier than where i am now. but then i'm not really satisfied with what i'm doing right now either. i can see myself doing it.. but.. i guess it's not what i dreamed of?

i don't want to regret things. i don't want to see myself in the future wondering "huh, i wonder what would've happened if i..?" i just wanna go ahead and do it. it may not make me happy in the end, but at least i won't wonder "what if?"

no regrets, right?

oh well.
so it only took two weeks for my room to look horrible again. with all the clothes on the floor, it looks like a small tornado touched down in my room.

well.. it was good while it lasted, at least.

i just watched hero.
i've had it for a while but just got around to watching it. omigoodness.. i must say that it's like an asthetic kick in the butt. beautiful colors.. beautiful cinematography.. it's just a beautiful film. honestly it's probably not the BEST movie i've ever seen.. but probably the most gorgeous.

case in point:

i feel old.
my older brother just turned 27.. dood, how can that be?? just a couple of years ago 27 seemed AGES away, now with him being 27 it's just a couple years before it's my turn. gawd, i still remember starting out in college at 18.. dood.. that feels so far away now... omigosh, it's been over FIVE YEARS.

shoot...

i do feel old though. throw me back in ucla at the point where i am now, and i think i'd go crazy.

you know what's funny though? i didn't even realize that it's been so long until i really started thinking about it. i guess time flies when you're having fun.

heh.. oh well, i'm old but at least i'm enjoying it. =D

sleepy.
yesterday was easter. mayne and me were saying how it's kinda funny how it doesn't even feel like it with all the other things going on. so yesterday we went on a THREE HOUR search for a church. did you know that it's really impossible to find an evening easter service in fremont? first we drove to one church and they were having service in chinese (doesn't really work for mayne). then we drove to two other churches which supposedly had services at 6, and both of them were closed. then we drove to another one which was supposed to have service at 6:30 and that one had cancelled their mass. so we just ended up sitting in the church and praying.

well.. we tried, at least. heh, it's just funny how it was so impossible for us to find a service on easter sunday.

i'm sure god appreciates the effort.

fighting off jet lag.
it's still hard for me to believe that today i'm back from paris and back at work. i've been fighting off the effects of jet lag but last night i ended up so exhausted that i went to sleep at 8 and woke up at 3 in the morning. afterward i FORCED myself to sleep.

it didn't seem to help that much because i was still half-asleep as i drove to work this morning. i missed my exit on the freeway and didn't notice until i got into union city.

*sigh*

back!
even after coming back, it's weird thinking that i just came back from france. it seemed so quick and surreal. we went at breakneck pace going through everything we could see. it was definitely worth it and i got to practice six year's worth of high school french. i wish i had the luxury of spending a longer time to actually get to know the culture and the people since a week is hardly anything. but i guess that's something that i'll hafta wait for.

i was eager to see sainte chapelle and when we got there, it was everything i expected. pictures can try-but it's simply not the same.

and then there was the eiffel tower. we went in the evening and the whole city was lighted up. the view was gorgeous and there's just something magical about being on the top of the eiffel tower on a clear evening in paris.

...

one thing i'll hafta say is that i'll miss the little "patisseries" which are on almost every street corner. since i'm very dessert-oriented i ended up eating tarts and desserts for almost every lunch and dinner. i also fell in love with italian ice cream. *sigh*.. next goal, go to italy.

although paris was good, i'm happy to be home. near the end we were just exhausted and drained and even seeing awesome monuments like sainte germaine and the pantheon hardly fazed us anymore.

home, sweet home.


one of the best things about paris...

getting close now.
it's a little over a week now, that me, joanna, jen, and anny will be in paris! i've got most of the details ironed out of my "planning spreadsheet" (heh). i'm getting kinda anxious, and it's hard for me to believe that we're leaving so soon. i haven't even started packing-although i've at least started doing my laundry so i'll have clean clothes ready at least.

check this out, the target is my hotel in paris. pretty soon, that's where i'll be.



heehee. yay!

omigoodness.
i just spent the past THREE HOURS working on a visual aid for aiwa. today i was trying to explain government structure and i was either a) boring them out of their minds or b) confusing the heck out of them. so i came up with the brilliant idea of making a graphical representation of what i was trying to explain. i thought it'd take an hour, tops. but here i am, three hours later and finally done. honestly after this, i am certain that i never want to go into teaching as a career. it's too time consuming. makes me wonder if my teachers ever spent this kind of time preparing lessons.

this time for reals.
i grabbed the flyer for volunteering at washington today. this time, i need to make sure i don't make any excuses for myself, if i want to realistically consider nursing as a career path i need to start moving in that direction. it's frustrating when i don't feel any definite pull in any direction. sometimes i just wish there was some big booming voice from the sky telling me what to do. that would make things much simpler.

ai. so orientation's on march 19th. i'll tell you how it goes.

leg-is-sla-tion
new semester of aiwa today. my old students were there, and after a nearly three month long holiday, if feels good to be back at it. it's hard to explain, but usually right after the lesson as i'm driving home, i feel so happy that i'm just glowing. i just like feeling like i'm making a difference, you know?

i was nervous today. my coteacher, sung, wasn't able to make it today so it was only me teaching. before class, i was thinking about what i should talk about and how i could fill the 1 1/2 hour class. but today ended up being good and i was just so happy to see familiar faces from last semester.

hm. happy.

i hope the rest of the semester goes well, but i'm optimistic so i'm sure it will.

i'm a dork.
a la my coworker, i'm making an excel spreadsheet to help me plan for paris. i feel like a dork, but after looking at her spreadsheet, i feel like it's prolly the only way i can get everything organized onto one sheet. i'm really digging the idea of going to the cathedrals right now. people have mentioned going to sacre coeur or notre dame during the mass and how it's such an awesome and spiritual experience-so that's one thing that i really want to do. there's other stuff too: like going to a cafe and just people watching, walking the paris streets, going to the museums, going to the top of the eiffel tower.. aiya, so much to cram in just one week!!

i'm such a shutterbug too-i'm HOPING that my dad will let me take the digital camera. after japan (and 10 rolls of film) i think that it'll be a more economical way for me to keep my memories. but i'm just getting so stoked about this trip by just planning it.. yay! only a month away!

another thing, i'm teaching myself to read. i know it sounds funny, but i feel that my attention span is only a few minutes now because of the internet? also, mebee i might just have an aversion to books after working in a library and studying until the wee hours of the night at yrl. so i'm making myself read "real" books now.. it's hard, but i'm making progress. example: i've FINALLY finished the fellowship of the rings-only 2/3 more to go!

this is good.
heh.. watch this.

then this.

then this.

ai.. where's part four???

hey, just thought i should mention:
MY ROOM IS CLEAN. =D

YEAH!!
so i actually have a TWO DAY WEEKEND. although i know it sounds silly to be excited about such a thing, i don't get them very often so getting them is a treat. time to catch up on things.. like sleep.. and probably cleaning my room (ugh).

mm.. sleep. better idea than cleaning, i think.

i want a puppy!

it must be something in the air...
i went outside for lunch and i was struck by how absolutely gorgeous it is out there. the sky is this dazzling shade of blue and the air feels fresh and clear. there are some magnolia trees in full bloom right outside of city hall and the sun was shining through the petals.

beautiful.

i just wish i had some better words to describe it.

in general, i like the government.
dood, i even work for the government. but what i don't understand is that even though i make VERY LITTLE i still owe taxes. i just calculated it and i owe about $450. aish! all that hard-earned money going away...

*SIGH*

i asked my dad if there was something i could do and he said, "find another job which makes more money." gee, thanks for the solution dad. but honestly, i am thinking of changing-i'm still toying with the idea of going into nursing. i know if i want to do it, i need to decide soon since i'd have two more years of school ahead of me (yay!).

mm.. i hate decisions.

SANDBANK ON THE COAST OF WHITSUNDAY ISLAND, Queensland, Australia (S 20°17' E 148°59').

check this out:


Flock of scarlet ibis, near Pedernales, Amacuro delta, Venezuela (9°57’ N, 62°21’ W).

this photo's from a series called "earth from above" by yann arthus-bertrand. check out his website-some of the shots are absolutely gorgeous.