procrastination

i was just telling judy today, i'm such a spazz. remember the last post where i mentioned that i finally wanted to learn how to knit? so i've apparently taken this resolution to heart and i've been spending way too much time learning how to cast on (i think i got it!), checking to see what types of needles and yarn i should purchase, and checking out free knitting patterns online. all of this BEFORE i have my last final on friday.

i'm a dork.

so between my knitting research and playing hours (sadly, i'm not exaggerating) of solitaire, i've been working on getting all the gi disorders down, and i still have yet to go through the renal material and all the stuff on fractures.. and then there's still all the cumulative material that i haven't yet reviewed.

okay.. need. to. study.

knitting and the lives of strangers

that's it, i'm learning how to knit.

after perusing the etsy site and seeing all the kick-butt hat styles, i've finally been sold on trying to learn how to knit after seeing what you can make on your own. although it may just end up in the back corner, thrown to the side like many of my other hobbies (i think i have five unfinished cross stitch patterns hanging around my room), but i think it'd be a good investment. people who know me often make fun of me since i'm addicted to buying hats and scarves.. which is funny to most people since i live in the bay area where that type of clothing really isn't necessary. but making my own would be doubly satisfying, i'd have the satisfaction of working on something and (hopefully) get something i like as a finished product.

oh. and i know that i haven't been updating this journal at all. sorry about that (does anyone still read this thing, anyway?).. but here's a quickie update on what's been going on since august.

started my second semester of nursing school. walking through the hospital the first time for clinicals, it really hit me that i was actually doing it. me, with my b.a. in econ, was going to be a nurse. considering where i was and what i was doing just two years ago, that's a huge change and i'm still floored by the fact that i'm actually doing it. clinicals just ended yesterday (eheh.. 1am, now) and i've learned a lot throughout. it's a humbling experience.. i've seen things and met people who make me realize just how precious and fragile life is, and i've been blessed by getting wonderful patients who tolerate my inexperience and let me do assessments even though i'm not always certain of what i'm doing. thankfully, the coursework this semester hasn't been like the stressful bum rush of work that i had over the summer. but it's still had its moments. still have two more finals to get through before this semester is officially over...

outside of school, i've just been doing little things here and there. les and i were doing the salsa thing pretty regularly over the summer, but that died down a bit and we've been going on and off.. we checked out cafe cocomo in the city last, last weekend and that was pretty awesome. live band and some really kind and patient dance partners who tolerated my terrible dancing. i still would love to get better one day.. i occasionally get inspired after i watch 'dancing with the stars' or shakira, but that kind of dancing requires so much work! laziness...

i did end up crashing the (half) marathon back in october (13.1 miles!). it was a really good, scenic run. we ran all the way down the embarcadero, ending up at the coast near ocean beach. i love races since they always push you harder than you would normally go on your own. i ran the whole thing, and it wasn't until the finish that they picked me out of the crowd of runners (since i didn't have a bib), but i ended up being able to finish the race by running in the sidelines where people were spectating. it was a frigid finish by the coast, but it was a great run, all in all. i've been keeping up with the running since then. however this past month's been hard since school's winding down and there's been a crush of schoolwork to get done.

i think those are the major things that have been going on in my life lately. there've been other things going on here and there.. but too much to write for one post.

one more note.. i know i never knew him, but for some reason the death of this bay area man has really touched me. it's strange to be so touched by the life and death of a stranger. maybe the story is just a little too close to home and given similar circumstances, i can see many people doing the same. i just wish the best for his family and friends.

take care everybody and enjoy the holidays! drop me a line and let me know how you're doing.

edit: and i forgot to mention (maybe i'm blocking it from my memory): i turned 26. ha. thanks to les who coordinated a surprise party and an evite with over a 100 people. i'm blessed with wonderful friends. =)

crashing the marathon?

i was just talking to nessie, and it looks like she'll be coming up north for the nike women's marathon. she's been running lately, and it's really inspiring to see all the progress that she's made in such a short time. it made me wonder if i can "crash" the marathon the way people sometimes crash the bay to breakers.. and just run with the crowd without registering...

hrm.. that'd give me eight good weeks to train for a half marathon. i think it'd be do-able... =D haha.. let's see if i actually follow through.

hot hot hot

i think that probably the only redeeming thing about these hot summer days are the nights. although the inside of the house is still sweltering from the day's heat, if you just go outside, the summer evening is slightly warm and that perfect go-outside-without-a-jacket weather. sitting outside at twilight, everyone has their windows open so you can vaguely hear the sounds of your neighbors' conversations and the kids are all outside running around.. it's nice.

but even though the summer nights have been nice, the days are still pretty miserable. supposedly it's going to cool down within the next couple of days. phew, not a moment too soon!

what a day.

so aside from the fact that today was a hot, yucky, summer day with temperatures just breaking the three-digit mark, today ended up being quite a day. started out today by going to the mystery spot in santa cruz with my small group. it was pretty mysterious, replete with billard balls rolling up inclines and people seemingly getting taller or shorter, but as the time on our 45 minute tour wound down, the tour guide quickly shuffled us out from the "center of the mystery spot" to make way for the next 45 minute tour. we were then sent off on our way with our very own mystery spot bumper stickers. pretty mysterious.. but a little rushed.

then we decided to head off to the boardwalk to enjoy the beach and cool down. unfortunately, we weren't the only people with that idea. after circling the boardwalk area for almost an hour through crawling traffic, we decided to skip the beach and just get some food and go home. bit of a bummer, but i guess that's just the way things go... at least the diner we went to for lunch was good. it has the special disntiction of being the only diner that i've ever seen which serves pho. no joke! along with your standard diner favorites such as 24-hour breakfasts, sandwiches, and hamburgers, this diner actually had a vietnamese food section on their menu. kinda cool, kinda scary... i was curious, but not curious enough to risk it, so i went for the omlette.

coming home was fine, until i got back to my car. somewhere along the line, a bolt AND washer had gotten stuck in my car tire and so i came back from santa cruz to a very, very flat tire. so now i'm driving on a donut and tomorrow morning, i hafta check with the tire shop to see if my tire is salvageable and if it can be patched up. i really, really hope so... (says the poor college student with no $$)

to top it off, it seems that our home's a/c and our ice cube maker are both broken. sometimes you just gotta laugh at the timing of things.

oh well! i guess that things could always be worse. =P

administrative duties

just did a whole bunch of administrative things that i've been meaning to do for a while now.. finally have health insurance after years of being uninsured, applied for professional liability insurance, and submitted the information for my background check. my immunizations are just about done too. i just need to get the results from my chicken pox titer and i'll be done with that.

phew, it's nice to have a lot of the things that i've been putting off, over and done with. it's a load off of my mind. now that that's done, i have a bunch of class-related stuff which i should be taking care of as well.

that, and my room is (again) a mess.

it never ends...

three months younger

my cousin just got married today. it was a really beautiful ceremony. my cousin is about three months younger than me. it's odd to think that she's married now. even though i know that she and her (now) husband had been seeing each other for so many years, the reality of the fact that she's now "mrs. kim" is pretty difficult to come to terms with.

.. it's weird.. and kind of sad. perhaps "sad" isn't the right word, but i'm not very good with words, so it'll have to do.

so for the next couple of days, i'll be in vancouver. i'm enoying the weather which is sunny and mild, and the company of family which i normally see on our annual trips up north.

good times, good times.

that, and i'm studying for a pharm exam on monday, which i'll take right after i fly into sfo.

good times.

summer school

ah, so now i'm almost into my fourth week of nursing school. since every week's been kinda crazy with various deadlines, tests, and assignments, time has gone by super-fast. i'm just trying to keep up with everything right now. the other students in my group are major overachievers who all seem to do their reading BEFORE the lecture (amazing, huh?). ai.. it just makes me feel like more of a slacker since i really haven't been keeping up with things the way i would like to.

anyway.. i'm trying to get some major studying done this weekend. next weekend, my cousin's getting married and we're throwing a birthday party for my grandma, so i'll be in vancouver (yay for yummy chinese food!). then when i come home, i can look forward to two midterms, a presentation, and the deadline for an assignment.

i'm not stressed at all!

well. kinda, not really. =/

i cooked today!

yup, you read it right. i actually cooked today! following yan can cook's quick and easy cookbook, i made ginger chicken, bok choy, and carrot and pineapple rice. couple of things: it's not that quick and easy. it easily took me over an hour. secondly, although yan can cook may disagree, i don't think that carrot should be cooked into rice.. it's just.. WEIRD. however, the bok choy came out rather well. the chicken was not very well marinated, but i'm sure i can figure out something to fix it if i want to try to make it again.

my mom was gracious too. it was her birthday today, hence today's cooking experiment. she said it was "different" and "colorful".. i like how both of those adjectives don't specify whether it tasted good or not. =P but everyone finished up their food, and there were hardly any leftovers.. so that's a good sign. anyway, we finished up dinner well. i got a mango mousse cake from sogo and that's always a winner! =D

hmm.. i'd like to practice cooking more. just trying different flavors and making different sauces is fun.

finished behind a demon

Another View of the Devil
Originally uploaded by SeenyaRita.

this is from 2005, but i'm pretty sure this is the same dood from yesterday. he had wings this time, though.

i could've beat him! if i just went a little bit faster...

bay to breakers

Running Roman
Originally uploaded by jmmorton.

i was running at pace with this guy during most of the bay to breakers yesterday. i kept telling myself that if this guy can run wearing FULL ARMOR, certainly i can keep up with him. he kept a bottle of water hidden behind his shield too. i thought that was amusing.

that, and i finished right behind a guy dressed as a demon. he got into the finishing chute right before me. as we were coming out, some guy commented to him, "i thought i died."

only during the bay to breakers.

=D

just to let people know, i'm officially in the nursing program. good sam in san jose offered me a hospital sponsorship, so i'm finally official. no more wondering what i'll be doing in two weeks! i'm super-happy, but now i have so much stuff to get done: immunizations to get, insurance to purchase, books to buy, cpr certifications.. the fun never ends!

eep.. that, and i have a final tomorrow.

and if someone knows, please answer this question: how the heck is one supposed to clean spilled soap out of a carpet?? it just foams more and more and gets worse and worse. =*(

i am loving pandora. check it out, uber-cool.

since i'm a sucker for cute

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said.

The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

“It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a ‘mother’,” ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP.

“After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together,” the ecologist added. “The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother,” Kahumbu added.

“The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years,” he explained.

it must be something in the air

but i've been having problems focusing lately. it's especially bad since it's almost the end of the semester and ugh.. i just feel like bumming around and not doing any work. the fact that the past couple of days have been gorgeous hasn't made things any easier either. the other day, i was driving to san jose state, and i was just thinking to myself, "if i keep going 880 south, i'll hit the 17, and then santa cruz.. i should just keep going." but then reality hits and i realize that i have work to do and that i'm driving to SCHOOL.

*sigh*

responsibilities.. career... i feel old sometimes. the other day, i went out to see a movie, and we were supposed to get tea afterward.. i don't even think it was midnight yet, and me and my friend were practically falling asleep in the car, so we decided to skip tea. eep. oh well, older and wiser i guess, because there's no way that i'd want to be 19, 20, or whatever again.. i just wish i had this head and that age.

hee. oh well, life goes on. live, learn, move on.

words cannot describe...

.. just how awesome these people are.

hey

i'm in the accelerated program. i got the email confirmation today. i am happy, i guess that it's been on my mind for so long that i'm too exhausted to really show it.

*big sigh of relief*

still gotta interview with those hospitals though, so i'm not outta the woods yet.

spring cleaning

i just cleaned out 100+ unread emails. after all, i don't think i'll be needing those emails from last november after all. now, i still gotta clean my room (it's messy again!). and.. by the end of this week, i should get an answer about the nursing program. although i'll still have to do interviews with the respective hospitals.

will be kind of busy for the next couple of weeks...

nolastalgia

okay. so i know that i haven't updated in a while. i've been a big nerd lately, and my life's been boring. but since i'm on spring break now, i have some time to catch up on lost sleep and things i've been putting off (my eyes seriously have this perpetual sunken in and tired look). i was looking at some old pictures. omigosh.. memories are a funny thing. i definitely don't feel like the same person that are in those pictures, it's weird.

working at the library, skateboarding along the beach, random birthday roadtrips to vegas (complete with 100 mile "detours"), scary hotels with holes in the bathroom ceilings, 24-hour tofu, even commencement.. i remember speeding up to l.a. fresh from jen's ceremony so i wouldn't miss my own ceremony.

so weird.

well, enough introspection. i'm gonna work on getting rid of those dark circles and get some sleep.

nippon?

a friend of mine taught english in japan for a year, and when she asked me if i'd be interested in being pen pals with some of her former students i told her that it was fine. but what i didn't realize is that i'd become a class project! i currently have four letters from various japanese high school students. their letters are cute and i appreciate them taking the effort to write to me, but it's so difficult to write while trying to maintain perfect grammar! writing like this is a breeze because it's just like my stream of conciousness where i just write whatever i'm thinking at the moment, but when i write to them, i make a concerted effort to write with perfect grammar because i'm afraid of being a bad example.

aish.. i'm wondering just how many more letters i'm going to get...

crazy travel bug strikes again. aish.. wish me luck over the holidays, take care and see you all in the next year. =D

a picture's worth a thousand words

i wanted to post some pictures, but 1) i'm lazy and 2) i just don't have time, so i'm just going to post them here for now, but i'll properly update my photo page eventually...

bep free concert sponsored by honda civic.. as if you couldn't tell by the background~

u2 concert! picture stolen from brian's site, who apparently stole it from pearl's site.

grx christmas banquet with my small group buddy! (aka joanna) gotta love food pictures~

still at the grx banquet, the kids put on a really cute skit! notice the empty chair next to mary? what's up with the deadbeat joseph???

it really is christmas =)

i just got home after a long and cold, albeit happy, evening. matthew and i went to the 'sing-it-yourself' messiah event given by the sf conservatory. basically it's about 3,000 people who may or may not know how to sing taking a stab at handel's messiah. matthew had a chorale background from high school so he actually had an idea of how to sing some of it but i had no clue.

it was amazing.

i didn't expect it to actually sound good, but when you have so many people sing (or try to sing) the same thing at once, there's just something magical about it. when we got to the part in the middle where we were singing the hallelujah chorus, it was just awesome. the entire auditorium was filled with voices raised and singing, and when we got to the final hallelujah, the crowd broke into cheers and applause. after the performance, we continued to clap, and got a final curtain call and a treat from the conductor when he lead the orchestra in an encore performance of the hallelujah chorus. the first time was good and this time it was even better.

it's hard to describe in words how it felt.. but it was just so uplifting and awesome. i wish i were a better writer so i could describe it better.

as we were leaving the auditorium, i could hear some people softly singing 'oh come, all ye faithful' and i sang along. we paused at the exit as we could hear the strains of the carol growing and growing, and peoples' conversations stopping, until all the people who had been pushing towards the exit stopped and all you could hear were the sounds of people singing. that spontaneous connection through music suddenly made these 3,000 strangers into a community.

and now here's the funny part. after this wonderful, uplifting evening, i almost stranded myself at the castro valley bart station. i missed my transfer at bayfair, and ended up one stop over. i went downstairs to ask the station attendent if there were any more trains to sf (because i thought i needed to take a sf train to head back to the bayfair station) and he replied no. after the requisite freak out moment, i called les and was just about to have her pick me up from castro valley. i need to ask the attendent for directions to the station, and he asked me where from. when i replied fremont, he was like, "why didn't you say fremont in the first place??" turns out, the last train of the evening goes only to bayfair and over there i could hop on my train to fremont. i had to wait about a half hour on the freezing cold platform of the station, but when i got on the train around 1 am, i was just relieved to be heading home without any major consequences.

regardless, i'm still really happy and i feel really fortunate to have had such an awesome experience. tonight's been wonderful. merry christmas, merry christmas...

been a while...

yeah, i know i've kinda ignored this blog for a while. sorry!

as some of you may know, i quit my job at the bank. workplace drama sucks and i think once you start bringing that stress home with you, it's a sign that you should be moving on. so that's just what i ended up doing. i'm glad i did it.. but forgoing a steady income and my "grand plan" for the subsequent months was tough. honestly it was scary to just leave without really knowing where i would go. although it's only a couple of months until the start of school, i like having a good idea of what's going on and where i'm going, so all this uncertainty was killing me.

but things have kind of worked out in their own way, and it's already been over a month since i left us bank behind me and there's been no major blowouts and i'm still standing, so i figure i must be doing ok.

=)

holidays are upon us. i'll be heading to hong kong for christmas.. i'm excited, it'll be my first time in hong kong and a chance to have REAL hong kong-style dim sum. that's the highlight of the trip, of course! i'm anxious to start school in january.. but i know with the holiday season, time will just fly.

time has just been flying lately.. but i'm optimistic and hopeful about next year. i'm sure something good will come.

eep.. sorry if i'm being overly sentimental.. holidays do that to me. happy holidays all!

clean slate

i gave my two weeks today. very hard and emotions are still kind of high, but i think it's about time that i moved on.

...

still sad, though.

colors!

this is neat.

killing time.

couple things while i'm wasting the minutes before i have to leave for work.

i miss matthew. although i'm really stoked that he's going to cal (i can live vicariously through him!) it's quiet around the house without him. he's usually talking or playing his guitar, and of course when he's around i tell him to shush, but i kinda miss the noise that he brings to the house because it's just too quiet. :<

things with sjsu are progressing, albeit slowly. i'm still shuffling around transcripts and getting my app together. i have to take the wst on saturday and i'm DREADING it. i absolutely HATE timed writing exams and i am not looking forward to this at all! for those of you who remember sats, i think i got a 530 on the sat ii writing exam.. people used to joke that the minimum score was 400 for just writing your name on the test. so.. as you can see, i suck.

but if all goes as planned, by next year i'll be an enrolled student at sjsu. (crossing my fingers on that one)

so what's new?

okie, so the midterm is over and done with, i think i did ok? i don't know.. i can never tell after i'm done with a test, but now that it's OVER i can focus on getting ready for chicago! yay!! but as you can clearly see, i'm not focused at all, i'm procrastinating. (yet again)

actually, i wanted to post this. i saw ok go in concert a couple of months ago, and we were contemplating leaving early, but we're glad we didn't though cuz the dance encore definitely made the whole night worth it.

leaving on a jet plane

leaving tomorrow for chicago at 6 IN THE MORNING. so that equates to me being at the bart station at 4 IN THE MORNING in order to get to the airport. and of course, i'm not packed yet. i'm actually cramming for a midterm right now which is in 3 hours, but studying in front of the computer is a really bad study habit, and i'm getting distracted. (obviously)

one thing which i'm really stoked about is that i'm meeting with my old, old penpal while i'm in chicago. i met her when i was ten (?) on a cruise in the bahamas. that's 14 years ago! somehow we kept in touch.. mostly cuz of her since i'm horrible with correspondence, though. ai, i can't wait to go.. it's been a while since i've been out (arizona~) and i feel like i need a change of environment again, cuz i'm starting to feel restless again.

fourth of july, friends, food and fireworks.. not much more i can ask for. =D

p.s.

forgot to mention. i did well last quarter! despite all that slacking i pull through okay.. i did get an 'a-' in my patho class, which i know could've been an 'a' if i had put the work in, but i guess it'd be silly to b*tch about the '-', huh?

i'm not alone!

so i'm slowly discovering that i'm not the only one out there who has no idea what the he** to do with their life. since i've been going to my microbio class, i've met a diverse range of students - the lady i usually sit next to is middle-aged, and she wants to persue a degree in nursing, her THIRD degree. another girl i just met today is premed, AFTER having already gotten a bs in cs and and a jd. actually, most everyone in my class already has a degree from somewhere already which is completely different from the course of study they're taking right now.

this is kind of a relief to me, because all this time, i've kind of felt that i had done something wrong or made a mistake when i had gotten my first bachelor's. just by knowing that there's a whole lot of other people out there who are going through the same situation, i don't feel so bad anymore.

which is good.

annoyed

i'm cleaning my room right now (!!) and after doing all the laundry that was lying on the floor, i'm finding that i'm missing socks. THAT BUGS! for some reason, i can handle huge, unsightly messes where i can't see the floor, but i cannot STAND missing pairs of socks.

ai. now watch me turn my room upside down looking for spare socks...

OVEEEEEEEEEEEER!!

final's week is final over! i honestly came outta my last final with the biggest "oh sh*t" feeling. the grades were posted last night, and guess what i got?? 65%........................... which in the world of medical physiology is a b+. yup.. so i guess i wasn't the only one with that feeling after the final. hopefully i pulled an a- in the class, i did well in the two midterms so i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

now i've got two days worth of bonafide summer vac until classes start up in oakland on monday. TWO DAYS! dood, i'm stoked. [/sarcasm]

until then, i gotta clean my room.. i can't see the carpet anymore and my mother loves just walking by my room (even though it's out of her way!) and looking in so she can bug me about it.

aish-ya

trying to focus on these take home finals right now. emphasis on "take home". two of my three finals this quarter are take homes, and needless to say, this quarter's been a cakewalk. still it's hard for me to focus, my thoughts are flying all over the place and writing short answers and essays on a computer with an internet connection is not very conducive for productivity.

eep. enough procrastinating - gonna work on it now!

paper due tomorrow!

yeehaw, it's starting to feel like ucla all over again!! i've got a paper due tomorrow, and what am i doing?? i'm writing in here! blah. i s'pose it's cause i'm almost done with the paper, so i'm taking a premature victory lap.

reason why i'm posting is because i checked friendster a while ago and discovered that tanya wrote me a testimonial. it makes me nolastalgic. gawd, i remember gaby (tanya's parakeet) - i remember how tanya snuck her into the dorm, and we'd hide her in the shower when they came to inspect our room. i remember feeling that l.a. xmases don't feel like xmas at all, so i cut paper snowflakes and taped them all over our dorm window. i remember when we were moving outta the dorms, i tore off the mirror that ray foam taped to the wall and tore off part of the wall with it, then going to home depot buy paint to try to hide the damage. it was a weird time, it doesn't feel like it happened to me anymore.

looking at other people profiles is almost like looking at an old yearbook and seeing what people have since become. some people have changed so much.. it makes me wonder if i've changed over the years. maybe yes, maybe no.

aishya.. gotta get to work. i'm listening to uber-mellow music right now, and it's making this nolastalgic mood even worse. but damien rice has such a lovely voice...

big bugs

my little brother got a spider bite on his hand and his hand has swelled up to two times its normal size. it's really impressive actually.. heh, i wanted to take a picture, but he wouldn't let me. anyhoo, he went to the hospital to have the doctors take a look at it. the doctor poked the hand a bit and prescribed some medication, but when he asked the nurse what the medication did, she really didn't know.. when he was telling me this he said, "amy, be a good nurse."

it's funny. i'm studying for this patho exam on tuesday, and i guess i kinda lose sight of the longterm goal. even though it's a chore to stuff all this information in my head for the exam, it's really cool learning all this stuff which has such a huge impact on other people's lives. after all, i want to be a good nurse too.

ugh

after waking up from over 12 hours of sleep, i think i can say that i never EVER want to pull another all nighter.

oy.

stoopid deanza

so i got an acceptance letter from csuh's nursing department. thing is, with me not getting the microbio class that i needed to take before june 30 i won't be getting into the program. so with that, my plans for going to csuh are cut short and it's prolly not an option for me anymore...

...

kinda disappointed about csuh (and stoopid deanza!) but i guess that just means i need to examine my other options and right now sjsu and ucsf are looking particularly attractive. sjsu has an accelerated undergrad nursing program and ucsf.. what can i say.. i know it's stupid and petty, but i'm attracted to name-brand degrees and a masters in nursing from ucsf would be pretty impressive. i know, stupid, stupid me.. it shouldn't (and doesn't) matter! ><

i'm wavering about getting the masters though. first of all there's the time commitment - three years versus a year and half.. i know it's only a year and a half difference, but for some reason it makes a huge difference to me. second of all there's the cost - ucsf's first year would KILL my bank account. (30k just for the first year!) third (and prolly most importantly) is that i'm just not sure if i can handle the responsibility of being a nurse practitioner. it's just so much power and providing healthcare is scary - because a simple mistake could potentially KILL someone. i'm not sure if i'm ready for that.

*sigh* but that's just me talking out loud. jeez, i haven't even gotten into the program and i'm already so gloomy about it. just like me to think too much.

house warming

my cousin ching got married recently - the first of the cousins to get married. (other than my 50 year old and 30 year old cousins) he and pam (the new wife) bought a little house in milpitas, a steal at only 380k. it's an older home, there are weeds growing up in the front yard and the outside could probably use a new coat of paint, but they've done up the inside really well. the kitchen's newly remodeled with marble floors and granite countertops and in the little dining nook is the hand-me-down dining set that we gave to them when they moved in. the bathrooms have been remodeled too - granite counters, marble floors, new plumbing fixtures.. the works.

i'm pretty impressed. it's funny to see my cous get all domesticated like this. he immigrated from china when my mom was still pregnant with me, so i've known him all my life and he's almost like my other brother and he's always been the "wild one" that worried my mom. but seeing him like this: pam is sweet and seems like she's good to him, and the house is slowly coming together.. i'm really happy to see that he's finally putting down his roots and happy because he's had it tough since he's come to the states.

i felt kinda bad. i had to leave early to meet a friend so i wasn't able to stay for the big feast that pam was preparing. but i'm sure there'll be more times to come. i'm really glad to see him happy.

btw

this is so cool - if you're lookin for an apartment and you don't wanna sift thru craigslist.

[via cool hunting]

sleepy

i just had a good conversation with a couple of old friends. sometimes that's just nice.. to have that sort of comfort and connection where you can talk about the 'good ol days' and stuff like that. it just feels.. good.

of course i spent too long talking too so now i'm super sleepy. lookin forward to sleeping in tomorrow, i have a day off! no school, no work, no nutin! i know it's kinda sad but i'm actually really happy to have a honest-to-goodness two day weekend!

aiya

just got back a while ago. too exhausted to really write anything, but a couple of random thoughts: the southwest is beatiful, there's so much open land that stretches for miles and miles. jen's niece and nephew were adorable. campfires are harder to make than you'd think and don't use magazines as tinder! i went to mass for the first time and found out that i'm allergic to frankincense.

it was an awesome trip.

couple of snags near the end though. because of an unexpected traffic jam i missed my flight outta vegas so i had to go on standby for a later flight which was then delayed by TWO HOURS. came home to find out that someone broke the driver's side window on my car - now i have some lovely duct tape and plastic bags covering my window.

my first campfire! note the white flakes.. yes, that is snow!



lunch after easter mass.



the always-wonderful "fobby pose".

*sigh*

time to regroup.

...

CAN'T CONCENTRATE!!!!

i have a final at noon tomorrow and i still haven't finished the reading and i'm just sitting here, wasting time. after that i have two more finals on thurday til i'm homefree.

ai.

at least i have the grand canyon to look forward to. i'm totally stoked about the trip and i think that getting out and communing with nature will do me some good.

ack

the mess in my room is directly proportional to how stressed i am. right now, you can't see the carpet.

somehow, i idealized my school memories. i remember going out and having fun but forgot all about the studying and test-taking parts. the worst part about school is that it's not like work which just ends at a set time. instead you have to study and when you're not studying, you're feeling guilty about not studying. all that, and you don't get a paycheck every two weeks.

...

even though i'm complaining, i think i kinda hate/love stress. although it can be just horrible sometimes, i think it's a lot better than being bored out of your mind. stress can be a challenge.. but challenging yourself makes you grow.

marilyn just told me something funny just yesterday. she said that physiologically the brain that you've developed by 25 is that brain that you'll have for the rest of your life - so basically even at 65, you'll still be thinking with your mentally 25 year old brain.

SO! i'm 24. i have one year to expand my mind as much as it can expand and do as much as i can before my brain hits its 25 year old peak. stress just comes with the package, right?

all that jazz

just got back and felt like writing a little bit. we went to a jazz club in sf.. it was my first time and i really, really liked it. i just like how the music is so free-form and you can just close your eyes and get taken away by the music. i'm almost inspired to seriously take up the piano again...

kinda funny. my friend had made the reservations for us and her last name is kok. there were two hosts working in the front of the club and when the host asked for her name, she replied and he went down his list of attendees and then told the other host that we were the "kok party".

yes, it sounded as bad as it looks.

fifth week, already?

four tests later, i still can't believe that it's already fifth week. after being out of school for so long, i've forgotten how quickly these quarters move. i'm still reeling from all of this studying, last night i stayed up until almost 4 in the morning just catching up on five weeks' worth of readings for my psych midterm.

i'm exhausted, my room's a disaster, and i still have five more weeks to go. i'll be so relieved when i'm actually certain that i've been admitted into a nursing program, this uncertainty thing isn't for me.

happy (belated) new year!

so.. the situation has changed a little bit. after nearly two years, i'm no longer working at redwood city. it was really nice too - they had a little send off breakfast for me and then i had lunch with jeannie and pat. then i packed up my stuff and said goodbye to cube-life. jeannie and pat are both women i really admire and respect - i hope i can keep in touch with them. also, i've reduced my (already little) schedule at the bank - instead of working there fridays and saturdays, i now only work saturdays.. a whopping five hours a week!

so i've essentially left the working world behind to concentrate on being student.

i'm attending hayward right now and i gotta say that student life is weird. i feel so OLD. seriously, those six years make a huge difference. i'm sure i'll get used to it eventually but i feel like i'm on a different plane than a lot of the other students. Working for the past two years has really given me a different perspective on school. it's only second week and i'm already staying late, trying to keep up with all of my readings, but i feel like i'm the only person on campus when i stay past 6pm.

anyhoo, i'm totally stoked that i got all the classes i wanted. it was kinda scary with one of the classes because it was so full, but i ended up getting in at the very last minute. now i just have a lot of readings to catch up on.

phew...

late is better than never.

phew.. i've finally gotten my pictures from london AND paris organized. actually it was easier than i thought it would be because i found this handy site called flickr - which is really awesome, by the way.

anyhoo - pictures is what you want, right?

(drum roll please)

paris - march 2004

london - november 2004

tada! that wasn't too hard now, was it?

christmas time already?

when the seasons sort of mush one into the other like they do in california it doesn't really feel like the holiday season even though the calendar tells you otherwise. i haven't started shopping at all and i'm dreading the thought of stepping foot in a mall. if money wasn't an issue and everything i wanted was right in front of me, then i'd love shopping.. but it doesn't really work like that, does it?

i don't think i really wrote much about london/paris - but i think my favorite part in the trip was this one night in paris. it was so cold and we wanted to go back to the hotel so badly, but nessie wanted to stop at les galeries lafayette (a huge department store) to look at the lights. as we came out of the metro station, this is what we saw:

i've never seen anything like that before. i just remember walking out to the station and being completely awestruck by the lights because it was so beautiful. people were clustered around the store windows and we walked closer to see what was going on. as we approached, we saw that each display window was done up elaborately with models and animated puppets - i don't know how to explain it because words just don't do it justice. parents brought their children simply to look at the displays and the kids would immediately run up to the windows and press their noses against the glass.

on a cold night in paris, i felt like a kid again and christmas was magic. i just wish there was some i could capture everything from that moment in time and store it away.

merry christmas, everyone. make it magic.

(les galeries lafayette is maintaining a christmas page for now, click on the site to enter and click on the green ornament on the right to see videos of some of the window displays. it's still not the same, but it's better than anything i could ever write.)

turkey

mom and dad's 30th aniversary was yesterday. because of that, they've left me, matthew and david to spend the holiday on our own, while THEY go on a mexican cruise.

sooooooooooooo.. tomorrow's turkey day will be fresh (store-bought from safeway) and we're driving to auntie lil's to celebrate. i love lil by the way - she's just the kind of woman i would want to be like when i grow up.

grow up... ack, did i mention that i'm now TWENTY-FOUR???

...

happy thanksgiving, everyone.

ramen!

i found a new favorite restaurant! it's called ringer hut and it's located in san jose. the champon ramen that les ordered was super-good and when i asked them what song was playing over the speaker system, the owner actually took the cd out of the player and gave it to me.

hehe. it's the little things that make me happy.

mind the entry

got back from london, simply amazed that people are able to exist in that sort of weather since my wimpy californian body is unable to handle anything under 50 degrees fahrenheit. weather aside, we had a good time. we had our share of rough spots, but overall it went off really, really well. (amazingly, no major drama!) now i'm home and trying to adjust to post-vacation life. i still have yet to do my laundry and my room looks as if a small tornado's passed through.

ugh.. when's my next vacation?

good news!

my cousin is getting married today! kind of expected/unexpected. he and his girlfriend (wife??) bought a house just recently and they've been living together for the past year or so, so we've been expecting him to pop the question.

but he just called my mom yesterday night and told her that he and pam (pam jei-jei?) are going to register this afternoon in san francisco city hall. mom's delighted. she's been worried about him for years, especially since it took him a long time to get over his last ex.

i'm super happy for him. i just hope it works out...

planning, planning

so we're leaving for london in a couple of days.. A WEEK AND A HALF. i can hardly believe it since we're still trying to plan. les has found an awsome airline called ryan air which is super-duper cheap and we're SO TEMPTED to book tickets for italy or spain right now. it looks like we might just do it too - we're still looking to see how feasible the plan really is, but hehe.. italy.. spain.. it sounds like a dream!

i've always liked this part of trip planning, the anticipation before actually going.. it's like waiting for christmas. i'm really looking forward to this trip. i just can't believe it's coming up so soon...

one problem i've had lately is shopping for this trip. i keep going shopping, telling myself to buy sweaters because i just KNOW that i'm going to be a frozen popcicle when i get to london, but when i go shopping i get distracted and end up leaving with tees instead of sweaters. now i have three new tees and no sweaters...

oh - and as a mini epilogue. grant came and went. the deadline was last, last friday so since then it's been quiet. i've gone from going crazy back to going comatose. i kinda lovehate deadlines. it's nice to just keep pushing towards a deadline cause you just have this rush while you're doing the work and once you're done it's just an awesome sense of relief. but up until the deadline it's stressstressstress.

still pushing through the apps for the local csu's. after two months (maybe longer), csu hayward still hasn't admitted me - i feel like i should be a little more mean and harass their admissions office more.. but i just don't have the energy for it. i need to get the apps for sf and sj done as well.. i've been putting it off (lazy, lazy) and i'm planning to finish them once i return from london.

which brings me back to london.. LONDON. less than two weeks to go and i haven't planned or packed a thing!

i'm still at work...

and i'm eating salsa - not salsa with chips, mind you, but straight up salsa. i think i'm craving vegetables, but unfortunately my workplace lacks decent snacking veggies.

i'm helping my coworker on some text for a grant and it's been keeping me busy, the past two nights i've stayed in the office past 7pm, yesterday i set a record at 8:30. and they say government employees are lazy, pheh... the good people of redwood city BETTER be appreciating me, this is their hard-earned tax dollars at work!

...

ha.. that sounded bitter. actually, it's not-so-bad. i'm actually glad that i'm working on a real project for a change and i know that i'm prolly thinking too far ahead of myself, but it'd be awesome if we won the grant money.

they say that if you lose track of time while working, you're doing something you love. so maybe all of these overtime hours actually equal a good thing.

kpop!

i'm addicted to this kpop song 'how do i say' by shinhwa right now-VERY POPPY AND AZN. i guess music is where the azn in me comes out.

anyhoo, today i'm going to a bonfire on the beach in carmel, i'm pretty excited because i've never been to anything like this before. mayne's turning 20 (she's such a baby!) on monday, and we're going for her birthday. it should be pretty interesting, yesterday night we went to a spanish club-me and les were the only asian people, until mayne's chinese-peruvian friends showed up. you know, although chinese-chinese people probably think i'm weird, i can't get over hearing chinese people speaking spanish.. it just sounds odd. it was fun though, and the music was good, different.

i'm lookin' forward to going to the beach!

london (continued)

so it looks like right on the heels of china and france, i'm going traveling again. hee.. what can i say, i'm no good at saying no. i justify it to myself by telling myself that i'll be in school for the next two years anyway and then working after that so this is my time to travel.

jo has an aunt in london right now, and we'll be staying there. it looks like i'll have a second chance to see paris too because jo and nessie want to take the train to paris. i'm getting really excited as we're starting to plan, and i'll be using my mad excel skills to make another spreadsheet-this time on london. i'm recycling the paris one too since i already have that down. (see i knew it'd come in handy again!)

in other news, i sent out my ucla transcript to csuh-so it LOOKS as if the application process is moving ahead. my (tentative) plan is to finish those two prereq courses (physiology and chem) at csuh and then apply for any program that'll take me. i'm kind of worried because so many nursing programs are impacted right now. but i suppose where there's a will, there's a way?

ai.. i certainly hope so.

LONDON!!!

details to follow.

bachlorette no more

i'm going to a bachlorette party this weekend. amy-yes, my apartment-mate amy is getting married. i've never been to a bachlorette party before so i'm kinda looking forward to it while not knowing what to expect.

eep.. what's with all of these weddings lately?

who's next???

spain

i'm happy to report that (fisshy) jen made it to spain alright.

she's in the southern part of spain on a dig and she'll be back in a month. lucky girl! imagine being in the mediterranean during the summer.

...

wish i was in the mediterranean right about now.

china.

i've heard about china all my life, but i didn't really know what to expect. first thing i noticed as we touched down in beijing was the smog. the air was this horrible combination of fog, smog, and humidity-so everywhere you went, the air felt like a sticky and dirty blanket. i never realized that clean air and blue sky was such a luxury-thank you california, for anti-pollution laws.

beijing was good, despite the heat and humidity we walked across the forbidden city (which is HUGE). it's amazing really, but after seeing your umpteenth amazing building in stiffling heat, you get kinda numb. i'd hafta say that the highlight of beijing was seeing the great wall-pictures do not do it justice. it's just amazing when you see the first segment of the wall, and then see it continue over hillside after hillside.

after a couple of days in beijing, they flew us down to shanghai. i really don't know enough about china to generalize, but it seems to me that the historical center of china is beijing, but the financial center is shanghai. it was a completely different world-i had gotten used to seeing the patches of poor conditions in beijing and middle-aged men with their bellies (!!) hanging out of their shirts, but shanghai didn't appear to have any of that. by contrast, the city and people seemed completely metropolitan and the buildings reached towards the sky.

from shanghai, they drove us to wuxi, suzhou, and hangzhou.. and garden, after garden, after garden-all very beautiful, but like the forbidden city, you get numb after a while. we spent a lot of time on the road, but the drives were interesting. the houses are right next to the freeways, so as you pass by, you can see people at work or in their homes, just going about their daily lives. just from observation, their lives seem very different from mine, simpler maybe?

we then drove back to shanghai, and FINALLY got a free day. after five days of having our wake up call anywhere between 5 or 6 in the morning and then having a packed schedule until 9 in the evening, it was a huge RELIEF to have at least one day where we could do our own thing. so, we did what made sense: we went shopping.

later that day, we flew back. when we landed in sfo the weather was in the 70s and misty.. heading out of the peninsula, the mist cleared and it was blue sky all the way. although it was only a week, it feels like we did and saw a lot and although i'd love to have another opportunity to go back, there's no place like home.

quickie...

china was really good! i'll write more later.

until then, here's a picture of me and shanghai's funky-wunky pearl tower (it looks even weirder at night):

my car must hate me by now.

something that i forgot to mention about los angeles. i HATE driving in l.a.

a couple of reasons:

1) TWO parking tickets in THREE days,

2) running up curbs and scaring everyone in the car,

3) and of course.. i got rear ended as well.

luckily, i got rear ended exactly where i got rear ended before, so now i have a collection of cracks on the left-hand side of my rear bumper. insurance is figuring it out right now, but thankfully.. nessie is more level-headed than me and we got a license plate number and vehicle description.

oh, and i think los angeles driving karma followed me up to the bay area, 'cause today i forgot about my headlights (third or fourth time this year, i think.. i've lost count) and my battery died.

eep!

i haven't visited los angeles for AGES. so this weekend, i finally went down. it was really good.

first off, i got to see so many people that i haven't seen in so long. jo and all the girls, pearl, jen, nessie, marie.. seeing all these people remind me of just how much i miss them. this is also the first time that we actually went to l.a. with an agenda. usually, we don't really have much of a plan, it's more like let's just go and see what happens.

this time, we actually had a chance to see all the touristy-type things that as a student, i never got to see. i (finally) saw the hollywood sign, the hollywood walk of fame, and mann's chinese theatre.

there are so many things.. i can prolly go gushing about on and on. but the biggest and best thing?.................................................. I SAW TOM CRUISE!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

aiwa.

so i finally emailed julie today and told her that i would not be able to volunteer for aiwa next semester. i'm going to miss doing aiwa, but with all the things coming up, i doubt that i'll have the time for it. most of all, i'll probably miss my students-they're a great group.

thanks to joanna, i'm (finally) starting to get things together for going back to school. i finished an application this weekend, and i'll start doing the others in august when applications for winter 2005 become available. kind of scaredexcited to go back to school, but i think it'll be a welcome change. also my application for volunteering at washington is also starting to move along and i have an interview on wednesday.

busy, busy. eep!

rip van winkle.

i've been so exhausted lately. in redwood city the other day, i was actually falling asleep at my desk. so last night, i put an end to that-i slept a total of TEN HOURS. yup, i'm awfully proud of myself. so hopefully that'll curb the exhaustion for at least a little while.

it's cloudy outside, but i think that it'll clear up. i think i'll do some hiking today.

here's a picture from last weekend. isn't my grandma beautiful? i don't think i'd look so good at 90.

my cousin christine, me, and my grandma <3

back in fremont.

i got back from vancouver just today. it was a good visit-chinese food every night, family, etc. it was just really difficult to leave, especially to leave my grandmother. next year seems very far away right now, and i know i'm going to miss her terribly.

eep.

yeah, i hate goodbyes.

birthday!

so yesterday (actually two days ago now) was my grandma's birthday.  the build-up to the 'event' was huge.  there were guest lists to finalize, seating arrangments to fix, cups to be wrapped, cakes to pick up...  but amazingly, everything went off without a hitch.
 
for some reason, every time we go to restaurants in vancouver, we have a tendancy to go to the sames restaurants over and over.  so this year we had the banquet in the same restaurant as last year's banqet-we reserved over half of the restaurant and had nine tables.  my dad ACTUALLY gave a speech.  now, you have to know my father to know what a huge step that was for him, because he can be painfully shy at times.  but for such a big event, he really pulled it out from in him and when he was speaking, i was just like, "yup, that's my dad."
 
most importantly, we had a good time that night, and i think my grandmother was really happy.  i can't hardly believe that she's 90.  but God-willing, we'll be celebrating her 100th in another ten years.

tying up loose ends.

so i'm leaving tomorrow. i'm trying to straighten out the house and tie up some loose ends.. i still hafta pack, though. i hate packing, did i ever mention that?

oh! i'm ACTUALLY starting to get somewhere with my application for volunteering at the hospital, after postponing for a long time, i finally went and took the tb test which is required of all employees/volunteers, i have a second test in the next week. after that i can schedule the interview and (hopefully) everything from there on out will be fine.

i also need to start applying to programs and etc. i think i've done enough research for now, all i really need to do is apply. i'm kinda nervous since i really don't know about starting school again (i feel old next to all those freshmen!). but on the other hand, i really appreciate school so much more since i've graduated. dood, i wish i just put some thought into my major before i went and chose something the first time around, but i guess late is always better than never.

i got an email from julie requesting our schedules for the fall semester of aiwa. i don't think i'll be doing it in the fall anymore. i love it, but on the other hand.. i need to be honest with myself. it might just be because i don't have the time to really plan out lessons or maybe i just don't have 'the gift' (blech) but i don't think i'm that great of a teacher, and who wants to be a mediocre teacher?

...

eep. going back to what i was talking about before, another reason i'll be glad to get out of a desk job: lately, my hand/wrist has been bugging me. early onset of carpal tunnel syndrome? i don't wanna wait and see...

...

so i left for work early today and headed off to the mall right afterward. i just didn't want to go home to an empty home, you know?

the WORST part is that despite the fact that i just spent two hours in the mall, i couldn't find anything at all.

eep.

sheezers.

i'm up. i woke up at 4:30 since i was feeling a little restless. normally at this time, my mom would come out telling me to sleep.. but my family's been away so i have the house to myself for two more days. believe it or not, it was a real relief to hear my mom's voice when she called to tell me that they (my family) made it up to canada.

on wednesday, i'll be joining them. this time of year, we always go up to canada because of my grandma's birthday. this year is special too, since it's her 90th birthday. i'm looking forward to seeing her and the rest of my dad's family.

but for now and the next two days.. this house is way too much for one person.

...

too much peace and quiet: part 2.

i have the house to myself and it's driving me kinda crazy again.

*sigh*

too much peace and quiet.

maybe it's just because i've grown up in a noisy family where everyone's vying to be the center of attention, but too much peace and quiet drives me crazy. i slept immediately after work today, and when i woke up the house was quiet. and for some reason, that freaked me out completely so it was a relief when i heard the garage open and my mom came home.

sometimes peace and quiet is good-sometimes it's necessary. but you know what? i don't like that feeling of not having anyone around either. company, even if they're not talking, is good. there are times when my family drives me crazy but i can't imagine (or want to imagine) life without them. they're noisy, they're not perfect, but they're my family and i love them to death.

wonders never cease.

guess what?? MY ROOM IS CLEAN. yes, i know it's a amazing, but it's true! i ended up staying up until 4 am yesterday night just cleaning. usually when i get into my "cleaning mode" it's hard to stop me. and of course i had to work the next day so that gave me about three good hours of sleep.

eep.. so sleepy...

fieldtrip!

tomorrow is the the last day for aiwa. good news: we're going on a fieldtrip! bad news: we're going to sacramento. i'm not sure how many of the women will actually attend because chung hee was saying how last year, the group went to angel island and since most women thought that it would be fun there was a pretty good turnout. but sacramento is.. sacramento. after boring my students for a semester and watching my class grow smaller and smaller i don't know if state government is going to hold their interest.

well i hope it'll be fun! regardless i have to attend since i am a (kinda) leader. oy, better go to sleep. i'm supposed to be in san jose at 8:30. not leave the house at 8:30 but be in san jose at 8:30. so i better sleep or i'll miss the whole thing.

nite!

brr...

it's chilly tonight. the stars are out. nice night.. doesn't feel like summer, but nice.

also, nessie's leaving tomorrow. not far away, since she's only going to los angeles.

but...

i guess i just don't like goodbye's.

first wedding.

yesterday i went to my first wedding ceremony. for some reason, i always go the banquet/reception part of the wedding, but not the actual ceremony. i didn't really know the girl getting married, but it was very nice to watch.

i'll say one thing that i've learned though. when it comes to weddings, you hafta hire RELIABLE people. ok, me and les were 15 minutes late for the ceremony, and they still hadn't started the ceremony when we arrived. in fact, the decorating people were putting up decorations when we arrived, and they were STILL putting up decorations as the music started playing and people were walking down the aisle. and the cake.. omigosh.. that's a whole story on its own.

so me and les came up with a resolution: les is gonna learn how to bake and decorate cakes. my assignment is to learn how to arrange flowers. now all we need is a dj and photographer, and then we have most of our bases covered.

ucsf.

i attended an prospective student seminar for ucsf. it's for admission into their mepn where you can have a bachelor's in a degree other than nursing and then just get your master's. first of all ucsf is HARD TO FIND. i drove around the castro and then the twin peaks area for a half hour looking for it. then when i was trying to leave, i got lost AGAIN and ended up driving in circles. thank goodness for my cell phone and friends who don't mind if i call for directions (thanks jen and nessie!).

anyway, the actual seminar gave me a pretty good idea of what i could expect and honestly, i don't know if it's for me. it seems once you graduate, you'll be very specialized, and i'm not sure if that's what i want. i think that i'd be happy just as a general floor nurse. so if that's the case, i may just need to get a regular bachelor's in nursing. and guess which school i'm thinking of? csuh. it seems really round-about, especially after working so hard to get into ucla.. but i guess you just hafta do what makes you happy even if it takes you while to figure out what makes you happy.

old dogs and new tricks.

my mom has a computer proficiency survey for her job coming up, so she's requested that i help her out.

i just spent the past hour going over microsoft word and how you cut and paste text. it's amazing how something which seems so intuitive to me, like right-clicking and left-clicking, goes completely over her head. but i suppose that just beccause i've lived with computer all my life, while for her they're still a relatively new invention.

i still have to go over formatting, spreadsheets, and databases with her before next week.

...

ai, i can already tell that it's gonna be a long week.

franz ferdinand!

i saw franz ferdinand tonight. i haven't been to a concert in AGES, so this is the first one that i've been to in a couple of years. i don't know if it's just that i forgot how fun concerts could be or that this one in particular was really awesome, but i'm leaning towards being really awesome.

i'll hafta say that the two opening bands were disappointing and by the time we got around to the main attraction i was scared that they would be more of the same. but they weren't. (thank goodness!) they were awesome, high energy, and just fun to dance and jump around to. and it's much better to hear them live rather than hear them on a cd since there's a world of difference between the two.

my recommendation: see them when they're in town-they're worth the buck.

p.s.

one more thing! i did go to the ramen place the other night. not bad! although i'll hafta say that the one in mountain view is a still better since they give you more noodles and the broth is yummier. but being only five minutes away is definitely a plus so i guess i have a new place to go if i'm having a noodle-fix.

classical dramas.

exhausted today. nessie and i drove up to davis today to watch jen's play. i don't believe that i've EVER seen a play that was done in ancient greek and latin. for that matter, i don't believe that i've ever seen a play with SUBTITLES. that was unique. it was pretty entertaining and afterwards we went to buckhorn for dinner (REALLY good steak!).

a good day. tired.. but good.

oh one more thing-i went to borders to look at gre books.. there are too many choices! *sigh*.. i'm just afraid that i'll buy the book and then it'll start gathering dust like my lsat book... i'm just not that disciplined when it comes to self-study.

ramen in fremont.

hey, i know i'm probably being over-excited, but there's a new ramen place.. in FREMONT. so! if anyone's having a ramen-craving, check out the plaza on warm springs boulevard, where verde's located. and please, don't forget to invite me.

scrubs.

i shadowed joanna to her work at cho today. it was only for two hours, but after this i think that i'd really rather do something like nursing rather than the behind-the-desk job that i'm doing right now. although it's a bit intimidating (i'd probably be scared of giving patients the wrong drugs or dosages) i'd rather have direct interaction with the people that i'm trying to help.

i think i can see myself doing this.. i think? i still have that bit of uncertainty. i called washington the other day, and they're still processing my application. they told me that they'll get back to me (hopefully) in a couple of days and i'm hoping that volunteering will add some certainty into my decision.

getting closer...

it feels like everything's moving quickly.
i may have to take the gre's. some ms nursing programs require it, and just the same i'd like to take it just in case... it's weird having to study for a test again, i'm nervous about the math part of it. i never was a math-type person in the first place and it's been YEARS since my last math class. diana told me that i shouldn't worry too much about the math since the real killer is the volcab section...

honestly, i'm still not sure about nursing.. but i'm always wishy-washy like this. i just want to make a definite decision for once!

...

anyhoo, i've got a lesson to prepare for aiwa tomorrow-first things first, i guess.

aww.
you know its been YEARS since i last watched friends. i probably stopped watching around the third season or so, but even so i feel so.. sad (i guess?) that it's over.

that and i feel old. dood, i remember how me and my high school friends would talk about it and how cool it was when it was new.

i must be in denial but shoot.. i AM getting old here.

i mailed in the voluteer application for the hospital today.
so i guess i'll just hafta see how it goes. i'm also researching b.a. to masters in nursing programs right now. there's several universities in san francisco which look pretty attractive right now.

it's hard. because i'm not really sure if making a 180 degree turn is gonna make me any happier than where i am now. but then i'm not really satisfied with what i'm doing right now either. i can see myself doing it.. but.. i guess it's not what i dreamed of?

i don't want to regret things. i don't want to see myself in the future wondering "huh, i wonder what would've happened if i..?" i just wanna go ahead and do it. it may not make me happy in the end, but at least i won't wonder "what if?"

no regrets, right?

oh well.
so it only took two weeks for my room to look horrible again. with all the clothes on the floor, it looks like a small tornado touched down in my room.

well.. it was good while it lasted, at least.

i just watched hero.
i've had it for a while but just got around to watching it. omigoodness.. i must say that it's like an asthetic kick in the butt. beautiful colors.. beautiful cinematography.. it's just a beautiful film. honestly it's probably not the BEST movie i've ever seen.. but probably the most gorgeous.

case in point:

i feel old.
my older brother just turned 27.. dood, how can that be?? just a couple of years ago 27 seemed AGES away, now with him being 27 it's just a couple years before it's my turn. gawd, i still remember starting out in college at 18.. dood.. that feels so far away now... omigosh, it's been over FIVE YEARS.

shoot...

i do feel old though. throw me back in ucla at the point where i am now, and i think i'd go crazy.

you know what's funny though? i didn't even realize that it's been so long until i really started thinking about it. i guess time flies when you're having fun.

heh.. oh well, i'm old but at least i'm enjoying it. =D

sleepy.
yesterday was easter. mayne and me were saying how it's kinda funny how it doesn't even feel like it with all the other things going on. so yesterday we went on a THREE HOUR search for a church. did you know that it's really impossible to find an evening easter service in fremont? first we drove to one church and they were having service in chinese (doesn't really work for mayne). then we drove to two other churches which supposedly had services at 6, and both of them were closed. then we drove to another one which was supposed to have service at 6:30 and that one had cancelled their mass. so we just ended up sitting in the church and praying.

well.. we tried, at least. heh, it's just funny how it was so impossible for us to find a service on easter sunday.

i'm sure god appreciates the effort.

fighting off jet lag.
it's still hard for me to believe that today i'm back from paris and back at work. i've been fighting off the effects of jet lag but last night i ended up so exhausted that i went to sleep at 8 and woke up at 3 in the morning. afterward i FORCED myself to sleep.

it didn't seem to help that much because i was still half-asleep as i drove to work this morning. i missed my exit on the freeway and didn't notice until i got into union city.

*sigh*

back!
even after coming back, it's weird thinking that i just came back from france. it seemed so quick and surreal. we went at breakneck pace going through everything we could see. it was definitely worth it and i got to practice six year's worth of high school french. i wish i had the luxury of spending a longer time to actually get to know the culture and the people since a week is hardly anything. but i guess that's something that i'll hafta wait for.

i was eager to see sainte chapelle and when we got there, it was everything i expected. pictures can try-but it's simply not the same.

and then there was the eiffel tower. we went in the evening and the whole city was lighted up. the view was gorgeous and there's just something magical about being on the top of the eiffel tower on a clear evening in paris.

...

one thing i'll hafta say is that i'll miss the little "patisseries" which are on almost every street corner. since i'm very dessert-oriented i ended up eating tarts and desserts for almost every lunch and dinner. i also fell in love with italian ice cream. *sigh*.. next goal, go to italy.

although paris was good, i'm happy to be home. near the end we were just exhausted and drained and even seeing awesome monuments like sainte germaine and the pantheon hardly fazed us anymore.

home, sweet home.


one of the best things about paris...

getting close now.
it's a little over a week now, that me, joanna, jen, and anny will be in paris! i've got most of the details ironed out of my "planning spreadsheet" (heh). i'm getting kinda anxious, and it's hard for me to believe that we're leaving so soon. i haven't even started packing-although i've at least started doing my laundry so i'll have clean clothes ready at least.

check this out, the target is my hotel in paris. pretty soon, that's where i'll be.



heehee. yay!

omigoodness.
i just spent the past THREE HOURS working on a visual aid for aiwa. today i was trying to explain government structure and i was either a) boring them out of their minds or b) confusing the heck out of them. so i came up with the brilliant idea of making a graphical representation of what i was trying to explain. i thought it'd take an hour, tops. but here i am, three hours later and finally done. honestly after this, i am certain that i never want to go into teaching as a career. it's too time consuming. makes me wonder if my teachers ever spent this kind of time preparing lessons.

this time for reals.
i grabbed the flyer for volunteering at washington today. this time, i need to make sure i don't make any excuses for myself, if i want to realistically consider nursing as a career path i need to start moving in that direction. it's frustrating when i don't feel any definite pull in any direction. sometimes i just wish there was some big booming voice from the sky telling me what to do. that would make things much simpler.

ai. so orientation's on march 19th. i'll tell you how it goes.

leg-is-sla-tion
new semester of aiwa today. my old students were there, and after a nearly three month long holiday, if feels good to be back at it. it's hard to explain, but usually right after the lesson as i'm driving home, i feel so happy that i'm just glowing. i just like feeling like i'm making a difference, you know?

i was nervous today. my coteacher, sung, wasn't able to make it today so it was only me teaching. before class, i was thinking about what i should talk about and how i could fill the 1 1/2 hour class. but today ended up being good and i was just so happy to see familiar faces from last semester.

hm. happy.

i hope the rest of the semester goes well, but i'm optimistic so i'm sure it will.

i'm a dork.
a la my coworker, i'm making an excel spreadsheet to help me plan for paris. i feel like a dork, but after looking at her spreadsheet, i feel like it's prolly the only way i can get everything organized onto one sheet. i'm really digging the idea of going to the cathedrals right now. people have mentioned going to sacre coeur or notre dame during the mass and how it's such an awesome and spiritual experience-so that's one thing that i really want to do. there's other stuff too: like going to a cafe and just people watching, walking the paris streets, going to the museums, going to the top of the eiffel tower.. aiya, so much to cram in just one week!!

i'm such a shutterbug too-i'm HOPING that my dad will let me take the digital camera. after japan (and 10 rolls of film) i think that it'll be a more economical way for me to keep my memories. but i'm just getting so stoked about this trip by just planning it.. yay! only a month away!

another thing, i'm teaching myself to read. i know it sounds funny, but i feel that my attention span is only a few minutes now because of the internet? also, mebee i might just have an aversion to books after working in a library and studying until the wee hours of the night at yrl. so i'm making myself read "real" books now.. it's hard, but i'm making progress. example: i've FINALLY finished the fellowship of the rings-only 2/3 more to go!