i mailed in the voluteer application for the hospital today.
so i guess i'll just hafta see how it goes. i'm also researching b.a. to masters in nursing programs right now. there's several universities in san francisco which look pretty attractive right now.

it's hard. because i'm not really sure if making a 180 degree turn is gonna make me any happier than where i am now. but then i'm not really satisfied with what i'm doing right now either. i can see myself doing it.. but.. i guess it's not what i dreamed of?

i don't want to regret things. i don't want to see myself in the future wondering "huh, i wonder what would've happened if i..?" i just wanna go ahead and do it. it may not make me happy in the end, but at least i won't wonder "what if?"

no regrets, right?

oh well.
so it only took two weeks for my room to look horrible again. with all the clothes on the floor, it looks like a small tornado touched down in my room.

well.. it was good while it lasted, at least.

i just watched hero.
i've had it for a while but just got around to watching it. omigoodness.. i must say that it's like an asthetic kick in the butt. beautiful colors.. beautiful cinematography.. it's just a beautiful film. honestly it's probably not the BEST movie i've ever seen.. but probably the most gorgeous.

case in point:

i feel old.
my older brother just turned 27.. dood, how can that be?? just a couple of years ago 27 seemed AGES away, now with him being 27 it's just a couple years before it's my turn. gawd, i still remember starting out in college at 18.. dood.. that feels so far away now... omigosh, it's been over FIVE YEARS.

shoot...

i do feel old though. throw me back in ucla at the point where i am now, and i think i'd go crazy.

you know what's funny though? i didn't even realize that it's been so long until i really started thinking about it. i guess time flies when you're having fun.

heh.. oh well, i'm old but at least i'm enjoying it. =D

sleepy.
yesterday was easter. mayne and me were saying how it's kinda funny how it doesn't even feel like it with all the other things going on. so yesterday we went on a THREE HOUR search for a church. did you know that it's really impossible to find an evening easter service in fremont? first we drove to one church and they were having service in chinese (doesn't really work for mayne). then we drove to two other churches which supposedly had services at 6, and both of them were closed. then we drove to another one which was supposed to have service at 6:30 and that one had cancelled their mass. so we just ended up sitting in the church and praying.

well.. we tried, at least. heh, it's just funny how it was so impossible for us to find a service on easter sunday.

i'm sure god appreciates the effort.

fighting off jet lag.
it's still hard for me to believe that today i'm back from paris and back at work. i've been fighting off the effects of jet lag but last night i ended up so exhausted that i went to sleep at 8 and woke up at 3 in the morning. afterward i FORCED myself to sleep.

it didn't seem to help that much because i was still half-asleep as i drove to work this morning. i missed my exit on the freeway and didn't notice until i got into union city.

*sigh*

back!
even after coming back, it's weird thinking that i just came back from france. it seemed so quick and surreal. we went at breakneck pace going through everything we could see. it was definitely worth it and i got to practice six year's worth of high school french. i wish i had the luxury of spending a longer time to actually get to know the culture and the people since a week is hardly anything. but i guess that's something that i'll hafta wait for.

i was eager to see sainte chapelle and when we got there, it was everything i expected. pictures can try-but it's simply not the same.

and then there was the eiffel tower. we went in the evening and the whole city was lighted up. the view was gorgeous and there's just something magical about being on the top of the eiffel tower on a clear evening in paris.

...

one thing i'll hafta say is that i'll miss the little "patisseries" which are on almost every street corner. since i'm very dessert-oriented i ended up eating tarts and desserts for almost every lunch and dinner. i also fell in love with italian ice cream. *sigh*.. next goal, go to italy.

although paris was good, i'm happy to be home. near the end we were just exhausted and drained and even seeing awesome monuments like sainte germaine and the pantheon hardly fazed us anymore.

home, sweet home.


one of the best things about paris...